Sunday, November 13, 2011

I'm going to be a barn animal...

As I mentioned my girlfriend's from high school came to visit this weekend. Robin and Kathryn both had baby boys almost 2 years ago... so they are filled with tons of good advice, stories, etc. On Sunday night after going to dinner we sat around chatting about things like finding day care and questions to ask a pediatrician when interviewing them, etc. Somehow Kat and I got on the topic of breastfeeding.... Don't get me wrong I plan on doing it, but being that I didn't grow up in a family of breast feeders (stop judging) I feel really ignorant to this topic, and frankly it sort of makes me uncomfortable...Let's put it this way, I'm that person that cannot understand why someone would sit in the MIDDLE of the mall breast feeding. I mean, I get it, the kid has to eat and sometimes you're at the mall. But really is it necessary to sit right in the middle of the mall with your boob out?? How is this appropriate? And don't act like that blanket you have draped over you makes me not know what it going on under there. People excuse it because it's "natural"... well it's also natural for me to be half dressed and in a robe but you don't see me in public like that (despite the fact that I'd love it). So I vow to never have my nipple, boob, or anything that should be hidden under a bra AND a shirt out in public for feeding purposes - Nordstrom has very lovely restrooms for these moments. But I digress, because I really am down for the breastfeeding challenge; lezzdoit!

So Kathryn, was giving me all the insider girlfriend deets on breastfeeding and pumping. Up until this point I hadn't registered for a pump, it just seemed like an item that maybe you shouldn't register for. I guess I equated it with registering for your lingerie for the night of your wedding. Well, Kathryn convinced me otherwise and had me back on amazon adding her beloved "milker" to my list. Her advice was to get the one that does both you know what's at once so it doesn't take forever when you're at work. Yep, just like a barn animal [insert sucking noise]. She also suggested getting the bra that goes with the pump so that I can keep working while I pump. WHAT?!?! I'm sorry this concept put me over the edge.

Better yet, the company that makes these bras has images on their site showing you just how easy it is too keep on working (wink, wink). Please tell me how did they did this photo shoot without totally losing it?!? It's like they strapped Bessie up to the pump and she is supposed to just keep on working? Um, no. This will not happen. I'll be quietly alone in my office's nursing mother's room with a locked door. There is no way the model in this picture could possibly take herself seriously....
Nothing says sexy like a couple of pumps hanging from your ta-ta's.... moo!

You are welcome for the laugh. I know this made my day, and I really needed a good laugh. 


  1. Hahahahaha, I can hear the sucking noise now!!! I won’t lie though this was definitely me some days trying to answer emails and get that pump in too. I had to pump like 3 times a day! I agree also, no boobs in public, yes natural and yes there are many family bathrooms that you can use these days.

  2. Holy God ... my eyes are burning ...